I wrote a thread back in August on ‘How to raise a daughter to become a high value woman’ which was a title requested by my followers despite my unfamiliarity with the topic. When it comes to becoming a valuable individual, men need to operate on a straight path to attain the title, whereas women are required to navigate a more complex journey. I will use this thread as the premise to explain how to vet a woman.
There is two components with regards to vetting a woman. One of them is the macro; the deep values that make up a belief system in which she’s been influenced or raised under, guiding her long term choices as to who she wants to become. And the other is the micro; her short-term choices that demonstrates her attractiveness; how she carries herself, speaks, her behavior and how she deals with adversity.
My thread briefly explained the macro, a belief system established under the patriarch, which a woman should follow. This article will seek to analyze and identify whether a woman’s macro has been established and guided properly, then continue to address the micro to complete the vetting process. It’s extremely difficult to quantify a metric on whether a woman qualifies or not. There are contexts and circumstances that must be taken into consideration.
Nevertheless, this article will aim to provide a concise guide. Read my 2 min thread HERE before continuing.
To understand the vetting process, you need to take an objective position, a neutral stance, a viewpoint that accommodates a partners lens but also a fathers outlook. What a partner wants to see in a woman will be opposite to what a father wants to see in his daughter. Concessions have to be made on both sides.
Macro: Why independence & femininity are both necessary for a woman?
A woman faces two values in life that are in direct conflict of each other.
- Developing her femininity (what a partner wants to see)
- Pursuing independence (what a father wants to see)
The more she pursues independence, the more it will come at the cost of her femininity. The lower her femininity, the less she qualifies as a high value woman. But the less she pursues independence to develop her femininity, the more she puts herself in jeopardy and at the mercy of misery. To address this paradoxical dilemma, you must look at the chronological order of effect.
If a woman is not feminine, she is not the right type for you. This goes without saying. But applying context to that sentence can change the substance entirely. Picture a family where a father is disabled to a wheelchair, his wife unable to do anything but look after him and suddenly its on their 20 year old daughter to make ends meet. She begins to work at a young age, develops capacity for aggression, becomes disagreeable, eroding her feminine nature just to protect her family. This is an extreme case (not really, depends where you live), but the essence here is that this type of girl far outweighs a feminine one in terms of value, because family is everything to her and one day when she becomes yours, she will do everything for you.
Nuance
So its easy to say “only date feminine women!” – but this is a low IQ approach that takes no context into consideration. However, this doesn’t mean for you to ruin your own future by settling for woman without a drop of femininity because she spent her whole life being the provider.
You have to make concessions depending on the context of a woman’s situation. A woman has to make sacrifices if she wants to be selected by a high value man.
There’s a lot of red pilled men out there that say ‘there’s no need for her to seek independence, she should aim for interdependence with her family’. This is an ideal scenario. We don’t live in an ideal world and fathers should prepare for the worst; their daughters not being able to stand on their own feet. It is poor planning on a father’s behalf to not teach a daughter to strive for independence. Therefore, YOU (as a potential future father) need to respect that upbringing.
The Balance
So a high value woman will understand that choosing to entirely pursue independence would destroy her happiness and damage future relationships. But she also knows not pursuing it will make her vulnerable to potential abuse for not have the resources to stand on her own feet.
A high value woman will develop masculine traits as early as possible to strive for her independence, but then deviate off this pathway once she has the capacity to fend off misery. She will then seek to regain and develop her feminine nature and attain motherly happiness with a husband.
Whether this belief system of ‘independence first, then femininity’ exists in a woman can be investigated very easily. Its components have in fact infiltrated political groups in the name of left wing, right wing radicals. If you speak to a girl on college campus, you should be able to quickly identify which way she leans, how far she intends to pursue her career, her feminism views and how family orientated she is. The women who qualify as high value are focused individuals striving to finish their studies and NOT pursue career ascension in their lives. They rather seek to settle on what their degree offers them as an occupation and pursue meaningful relationship instead.
So timing matters. What has a woman done between the ages of 18-24 in her life? If she hasn’t accomplished a feat that helps her stand on her own feet, then the only excuse should be that her family was well off to provide for her. But even so, you still want to know how she spent those years of her life. If she lacked a belief system, and aimlessly went out with friends, shopped and traveled, then she is not the one for you. If she has developed several hobbies she takes seriously while being catered for under a rich household, when she otherwise had ample opportunities to go out and party, then she could qualify as high value.
Macro: Disagreeableness vs Agreeableness
A woman’s agreeableness depends on which path she spent more time on in her life, pursuing independence or a feminine role. This faces the same dilemma as discussed above; a partner like you would prefer her to be agreeable while her father would prefer her to lean towards disagreeableness. This is a good vetting tool to discover where her values lie. If she happens to be less agreeable than the average woman, then her values will unlikely align with yours and she’ll favor independence over femininity. But again, you must take circumstances into consideration. I have a girlfriend who happens to be more disagreeable than agreeable, yet maintains her femininity and yet still wants to continue to study through to her masters. She was brought up to look after her younger sisters, while studying and providing domestic care around the house.
Macro: Devotion to Family & Religion
A woman’s commitment and devotion to her family is directly proportional to how committed and devoted she will be to you. It’s surprising that not many men assess this metric. The less dysfunctional her family, the more likely she is high value. Her relationship with her father and brother is a testament to how her relationship with you will unfold. Her respect and the need for guidance should always be maintained with the male family members.
If you’ve followed me long enough on twitter, you would know that I am not a fan of any kind of religion. Because I think it severely obscures the moral significance of people’s character. Despite this, I do think women obedient to religion outweigh their opposing counterparts in terms of value. However, I strongly believe that religiously obedient women act morally to appease their faith and religion instead of doing it out of integrity.
I certainly see this as a red flag, as I prefer her choices to derive from her own accord instead, in order to reveal the moral significance of her character. Personally, I would give more credit and trust to a nonreligious woman who is quick to right her wrongs humbly and seek a moral path over a religiously obedient woman who never does any wrong. Nevertheless, in this day and age, that kind of woman is rare.
Micro Traits
This sums up the macro belief system of a woman; her balance between independence and femininity, agreeableness and her commitment and devotion to family, to a lesser extent religion. The micro components of a woman should align with her belief system. For example, if she is devoted to her family, then she will less likely engage in degenerate behavior. Here is what to look out for.
Profanity, Drinks & Smokes
If a woman swears, it’s a red flag. There is no reason for her to use profanity under any conditions. If you have found a woman who qualifies with her values but uses profanity, tell her to immediately stop and begin to assess whether she will continue to swear or not. Continuation would suggest she is either disagreeable, or faking her values to fit yours.
If a woman smokes, pass on her. If she used to smoke, context matters. For how long and why? If a woman gets drunk, pass on her. A woman should not like alcohol. Occasional wine at an event or family gathering is all that should give her any desire to drink.
Fuels the Fire
If a woman is incapable of calming your anger, exhaustion or stress, it’s a red flag. She will be the type to aggravate your stress further then blame you for your mood. This kind of behavior speaks volumes of her values and belief system. It indicates she may not be the feminine motherly woman she is pretending to be. I discourage this tactic, but sometimes it is very useful for a man to instigate a fight just to see how she responds to adversity. Those who qualify soothe and diffuse the situation.
Has too many friends and/or social media following
If a woman has too many friends, especially groups of friends ‘that stick together’, it’s a red flag. If you have a fight, instead of seeking conflict resolution, she will seek counsel with the group of friends who will act as a coalition and make choices on her behalf against you. They will rationalize the validity of her choices because groups are ‘never wrong’. Find a woman with a handful of friends who she occasionally sees because she prioritizes family time over them.
Leverages her beauty
If a woman knows she’s beautiful and leverage her beauty, this is a incurable red flag. The attention she gets for her beauty has caused irreversible damage to her ego and she will never settle for a relationship without keeping her options open. Watch what she wears in make up and clothing and how her eyes behave in public. Provocative clothing (short shorts/skirts, cleavage tank tops) are red flags. If her demeanor changes in the presence of other guys, red flag. This should go without saying; if she does modelling of any kind, pass.
Arrogance
A woman should not have a shred of arrogance in her. It is indicative of feminist behavior and goes against all your values. Now there are some exceptions where certain feminine women put on arrogance as a self-defense mechanism. But your interest and approach towards her should quickly eradicate this. If it doesn’t, then she’s not employing it for self-defense purposes and its more likely that she is faking her values.
Body Count
This is a subjective matter that every man will have a different interpretation of what a small number is in terms of body count. There are sites for men that often say ‘stop asking your girl for her body count, it does not matter’. This is a lie. It absolutely matters. It is the most effective indicator for displaying degenerate behavior, self-worth and impulse control. Personally, I think a girl at the age of 27 should not have more than a body count of 3. This would mean that she would of had 3 year relationships (or more) with 3 partners (or less) since the age of 18. Any more partners and it would suggest a possible red flag to me.
Can today’s women really pass this vetting process?
Probably not. But lets not pretend that us men are the perfect. Us flawless kings have work to do ourselves while we wait for the right type of woman to turn up. The point of the vetting process is that it should act as a guide, and to apply it realistically in today’s world, some of the rules may need bending.
Furthermore, there’s a lot that a man can do to force attraction in woman which can turn into obsession, giving her the desire to align herself to succeed in the vetting process. If you really are a man of value and a provider, there are women out there that would do anything for you purely out of obsession. What’s important is that you understand the belief system and values of a woman.
The macro assessment saves you time to qualify the wrong types of women. And also remember that if they don’t qualify for the vetting process, its who you are that will determine whether a woman WANTS to qualify and pass your vetting process. Obsession is everything. It is also worth noting, that you RARELY come across high value women in clubs and bars. I don’t have a proposition on where to find such girls. I am a firm believer of pursuing my apex value without deviating to look for a girl. Finding someone that would organically cross my path to my purpose is how I believe men should seek women.
UM’s Model
- A woman should seek independence in her ages between 18-24. Just enough to help her stand on her own feet, then deviate off this path and seek a feminine motherly role.
- A woman should be more agreeable and submissive towards you than disagreeable. Women by default are more agreeable. Therefore in general, a woman must go out of her way to become disagreeable. The reasons for this should be clearly identified. If there are no clear reasons, she’s not the one.
- The stronger her commitment and devotion to family, the more likely she is of higher value. Assess her relationship with her father and brother. Her relationship condition with them will reflect her relationship with you. Her obedience to religion would have likely insulated her from degeneracy but conceal the moral significance of her character.
- Check the micro behaviors. Most are adjustable, depending on her obsession to you. But do not discount their weight. Micro behaviors often reveal whether she is faking her macro values or not.
- If a woman’s macro belief system is aligned with your vetting process, her micro traits are adjustable if you can make her obsessed with you.
