I termed this thread on twitter “How to raise a son to become a high value man” although much of what it describes is meant for the reader. The reason for the title was because the process of becoming high value is a journey. A chronological journey that encompasses several conjoining aspects that all make up the term “high value”. These aspects stem from deep philosophical values that evoke transformational change when applied. And so, a son depicts an ideal symbolic representation of a being, going through this change to become high value. This article explains the roots required to develop into a man of high value. It goes beyond the superficial habits & traits (which will be covered in another article).
‘I would teach him the fundamentals of hierarchical values.’
Hierarchical values is a Nietzschean idea that’s not well understood. When someone possesses hierarchical values, they orient themselves in a very particular way in terms of how one should act. They know that their time, attention & resources need to be prioritized. They also understand that ‘knowing priorities’ is not enough, and that steps must be actively taken to favor certain values over others. The rationale behind orientating yourself in a way that adheres to hierarchical values is that it puts you on a path of least resistance to attain what you sought out to be the apex value. High value men are orientated in life.
They have an internal compass that tells them the path they must take & the sacrifices they must make. The more you prioritize the pursuit of your apex value, the more time & attention is drawn to it, the more sacrifices you forgo as a cost to attain this value. What’s essential here is what your apex value entails to be. What could be worth pursuing, that it motivates you enough to sacrifice everything else in order to attain it?
‘I would get him to aim for an apex value that’s life furthering; Abundance.’
For a man, every value discovered on this earth suffers in comparison to abundance. This is because a man provides. That’s just what he does. You need set aside the tragic stories you hear of men providing and getting nothing in return other than an alimony against their name. WHO they provide for is a separate discussion altogether.
But WHAT they should do, at a deep philosophical level, is find what it means to become a man. And this is found in their capacity to provide. Its a little known fact that the obstacles faced in life at the pursuit of abundance, forces men to develop qualities to overcome them. Its also these qualities that make men become high value.
Abundance should be your apex value, and your orientation in life should be based on the strengths of your traits that will eventually expose pathways for you to attain this apex value. This also means you need to prepare yourself to sacrifice other values that may come in various forms of temptation, fun and enjoyment. At times it would mean saying no to yourself, and other times it would mean saying no to others.
‘I would teach him to become disagreeable, so he doesn’t become a victim of oppression.’
If you’re a man that knows his apex value, and is self-determined enough to achieve it, saying ‘no’ is no longer an act of refusal. Its preservation of your energy to allocate it towards what you value most, your apex value. There’s no use in becoming disagreeable, if you don’t know why you’re disagreeing. And if you don’t know why you’re disagreeing, that means you have nothing to stand up for. And if you aimlessly don’t know what you want out of life to stand up for it, then someone will exploit you as a resource to get what they want out of theirs. That is oppression. Fact is, if you look around you, a lot of people lack an apex value.
Or at least, they take no steps to attain it. They are a slave to oppression, they go where the wind takes them, incapable of saying no, incapable of standing up for something. Unless you know what you want, you are better off making someone else’s dream come true. Disagreeableness is reserved for men who know what they want, and they are prepared to protect it by refusing to become oppressed or exploited. Those who know what they want, become disagreeable, and that makes them work for what they want.
‘I would make him competent and would tell him to work for everything he wants. Steering him clear of any inheritance & force him to uptake responsibility.’
Its very common to see men now employ every tactic to get what they want, ASIDE from actually working for it. This is the new age. The media have us believe that success can really come overnight and that ‘entrepreneurs’ can become millionaires without ever working. We love the success and the glimmer. But hate the work and suffering. And so, a side effect of this, is that most of us want to ‘get there’ sooner, and that means taking any avail able shortcut. EVERY TIME you get something without working for it, it feeds the personality inside you that enjoys complacency, expediency, and resentment.
Being rewarded for no work is the fastest way to erode every quality a man possesses. And when the rewards stop, you will be left with envy, hate and resentment over why you are no longer deserving. But truth is, you never were deserving. You allowed your consumption to outpace your production, because the temptation of getting rewards for no work indulged you, and disrupted your perception of earning what you want to be no longer desirable.Never accept anything for free. It erodes the quality that makes you high value. It takes away your capacity to provide by making you seek rewards for no exchange in value.
‘I would teach him to pursue women on the basis of his second apex value: Establishing a family, rather than pursuing them to fulfill his lustful desires.’
There’s several parts to this statement. First, it is obvious that without an apex value, its very easy for a man to allow his multiple personalities to take a stronghold and seek their own desires. In the absence of an apex value, a man will seek several values that emerge as a consequence of his urges (driven by those personalities). One of the strongest urges for men is lust. Their ability to suppress it is determined whether its pursuit would directly conflict with their apex value or not.
It seems evident to me that if a man does truly seek an apex value of abundance, women are nothing but a distraction to him. This brings us to the other part of this statement; ‘basis of his SECOND apex value’. If women are a distraction to a man who seeks abundance, then it would make sense for the man to suppress his lust for women as a sacrifice to attain his apex value. But what if not all women were a distraction? What if some women could help you propel further towards abundance?
These questions raise another; If these kind of women exist, how would they manifest themselves? What values would they uphold? These questions help discover one thing; how a man should develop sexual experience, without such experience conflicting directly with his apex value. This would mean that his experience should be a by-product of strictly pursuing women with a potential to become life partners. This path prevents him from sacrificing his own values for lust. It is this quality that sets him apart in becoming high value; his ability to do, but choosing not to for the sake of upholding his values.
‘Id teach him that the best men occupy the paradox.’
You may be familiar with the paradox term I often tweet about. It’s a phenomena that explains a certain being, characterized by having the unrestricted ability to commit any action, good or bad, at full capacity, yet choosing to do good instead. “Good and bad” are fairly subjective, but the essence of the paradox remains. And this phenomena can be narrowed down to a trait itself, for one to be able to exercise and attain. The term “Occupy the paradox”, literally means (but not limited to); become a man who has the capacity to become ruthless, yet gentle, predatory, but protective.
Its also these paradoxical men that end up being the saviors of society, who can face and confront evil and deliver good. Occupying the paradox is a test to a mans integrity when he finally attains his apex value of abundance. It’s a test of his ability in not needing to necessarily act when he has the option to do so. It’s a test of his character to not fade away in the presence of all the riches provided by the attainment of his apex value. He inherently knows; Men provide. And if that means to sacrifice himself just to see those he loves flourish, then that is what he will do.
Have a read of this ARTICLE relevant to this topic.
- Find your apex value; A value that should come in the form of abundance. Do this by understanding your temperament and your personality. Find your strengths and weaknesses, then capitalize on productive work that fits your strengths. This will expose the pathway that you should be on to seek abundance (I will write an article on this for it requires great length in detail).
- If you find the path that aligns with your strength and temperament, and one which that can lead you to abundance, you will have found what you are passionate about. This passion will manifest as a desire to seek out your apex value, in which you will sacrifice other forms of pursuits in order to attain it. If you don’t pay the price to sacrifice other values that take up your time and effort, then you are not passionate about your apex value.
- Disagreeableness is a side effect of deeply wanting to attain your apex value. You are more likely to become oppressed and get taken advantage of when you don’t know what you want. So point 3 ties heavily to point 1 and 2. No point becoming disagreeable, unless you know what you want, and become disagreeable as an act to protect it.
- Seeking out women according to life-furthering values is too complex to fit a model, and will require an article on its own. But you should get in the habit of observing women’s qualities before being with them, and become more intolerant & select based on values that reflect yours; establish a family & help you propel towards your apex value that will allow your family to flourish.
- Last point; never accept anything that is given for free. Ever.